DARREN’S BIO continued:

Darren’s four-year relationship with Mary ended acrimoniously when he decided to become a Roman Catholic Priest. Three days after taking a vow of celibacy, Darren decided what he really wanted to do was “root”. So he returned to Australia to don a pair of tight white shorts and a rich tan for the role of Percy in the beachside soap, Percy’s Point. After five years, three Logie Awards and 39 TV Week covers, Darren wanted to try something darker. Darkness came in the form of Sgt Strange in the no-holds-barred police corruption mini-series, Strange Ways. It was about this time that Darren flirted with the idea of turning homosexual.

Mary Hunt interpreted this as a cry for help and quickly returned to Australia “to save Darren from himself”. They enjoyed five weeks of unbridled passion before Mary died suddenly of an aneurism. Darren is said to have never recovered from this. His final two film roles, which came immediately after Mary’s death, are thought to be his best. He brings a weary yet vulnerable charm to airline pilot Captain Banks in the cannibal drama, Starvin’, and an unparalleled gravitas to Father Roger in the juvenile detention centre film, Father Roger. It was on the set of this film that Darren is said to have enjoyed relations both with the wife of producer Steve Wallace and his 15-year-old co-star Bethany Taylor. He has always denied both charges. In what many interpret as an act of protest, Darren sent Aboriginal athlete Cathy Freeman to collect his 1998 AFI Award on behalf of the Wurundjeri people. He now resides in Gladdington, Victoria, where he fronts local band, Black Diamond, runs a series of lucky dip machines, (currently under investigation), and drives the local masseuse from job to job.

MCWARRENISMS:

Darren on airline hostesses:
My earliest memories, and they're recurring memories, are when I was about 3 or 4 and travelling on aeroplanes and talking to the air hostesses. And it was just... you know. Their uniforms, their perfume, their legs. I didn't know what I wanted to do to 'em - but I knew I wanted to do something to 'em.

Darren on being misunderstood:
What they forget is that underneath it all, I'm a sensitive soul. I'm just like everyone else. I get hurt by things too. I do. So in the end, I just said to her, Listen sugar, "I lie to you, the least you could do, is lie to me."

Darren on happiness:
I don’t know. I do things that make me happy. It’s just that those are also the things that make me unhappy. I can tell I’m gonna regret this interview.

Darren on art:
See, with me, Ben, life imitates art. I mean, sure, the art has since been shit-canned, but the life goes on.

Darren on the film Starvin’:
A lot of people don’t realise that there was a catering problem on that shoot and we were starvin’, quite literally. Not to the point of cannibalism - but it was touch and go there for a couple of days.

Darren on the Australian film industry:
Darren: See, a lot of people say they want to see Australian films. But they don’t. Not interested. The film ends up sinking cos the Australian public won’t get off their arses and support Australian films.

Ben: Why do you think that is?

Darren: Cos they’re shit.